Coming to terms with size acceptance

I've learned a few things over the past couple of weeks through self reflection and making sad faces at myself in the mirror.

1. Yes, I have let myself go. But not to the point of no return.
2. I don't like what I see in the mirror. I know the tools to rectify that.
3. I have a bad body image right now, but need to learn not to beat myself up over it.
4. I have to learn to adapt and just not give up.
5. Operation Need To Lose 20 Pounds may take a bit of time.

The reality: majority of the items in my closet either don't fit right or just plain don't or look bad. Trying to get into these clothes has made me have feelings of Nos. 1-3. I am accepting I am  not a 6/8 and my existence right now is 12.

I am not liking that I have to buy larger-sized clothes, but by golly I am having fun doing it. And they are cute and stylish and look good on me. I don't look like a whale in them. Trying to wear the too-small clothes would make me feel that way. And I am tired of looking at the things that make my upper arm look like a sausage and bottoms I can no longer get past my hips.

So this weekend I am taking this week's Weight Watchers lesson to heart and making my bedroom a healthier area. I have gone through shoes that are worn out and just don't fit any more and thrown them out. This weekend I am getting another bin and putting in them all the clothes that currently don't fit, and getting rid of the ones I know I will never wear again. Getting all the things that make me feel bad about my current size are going to go away. Also there will not be things in the house that are bigger sizes than I currently wear, because I don't want the temptation to let myself go even farther. I have spent  more money than I would like on new things, but if that is what it takes to feel good about myself in my current size and to wear properly-fitting things, then so be it.

Goodwill is going to like me next week.