See you in a while, Points Plus ... Flex is coming to visit

I will honestly have to say that right now Points Plus just doesn't seem to be working. Or to better put it, I'm not working IT very well. Last year when it was first introduced, I love that I could eat lots of fruit for zero points. Then I just started using it as an excuse to gorge myself on the stuff during the day and at night. Lastly, that developed into just gorging on anything at night.

Boredom? Stress? Anxiety? Could be one, both, or all three. The lack of structure, combined with several vacations away from home different than my normal routine, equals 30 pounds.

Yes, folks, 30 pounds of weight gain. And 18 over the 2 pound goal range allowed by Weight Watchers (and one of my employers). So you can imagine how shameful I feel gaining weight over the past year, not losing anything and not being a good example at all for my meeting members. This has also caused me stress ... a bad overall attitude toward myself, feeling a bit depressed about it, rinse, repeat, insert downward spiral.

So until the end of October (when I weigh myself next) I am going back onto the Flex program that had me lost my initial 100 pounds in the first place. The structure helped a bit for me there. I had to weigh and measure EVERYTHING. Now I need to go back to that, and to lose these fracking 20 pounds so my BMI is in a normal range again. I had to get a couple of size 12s last week (my 10s are tight) and I really wasn't happy about that, let me tell you.

So I am taking out my old calculator and DO and Food Companion books and am going to use those.

And don't worry, I am not against Points Plus at all. Far from it. The program has totally helped thousands of people lose weight across the country. I'm just a pig and need more structure. So I have to reign it in and try to control myself, or I'll get back right where I started again.

It may take me six months to lose 20 pounds (it initially only took me 19 weeks to lose 25, but I'm five years older now, so I got to cut myself some slack.) I also need to be more motivated to exercise. This past week was REALLY bad for me. I don't want to go into it, but it was ugly and I don't want to repeat it. Ever.